Blogging? Murmur?

More and more I am visible on the web, because my colleagues are indexing me and linking me. Sooner or later more people will visit my blog and my website. But I found I was trapped in someway.

First, is it really my journal? The more people visit my site, the more I have to be responsible for what I publish. When people want to publish before a group of audiences, people twist the truth. People still point me to my essay published on the Chinese largest newspaper the People’s Daily (overseas version) even several years later. But I am not proud of it, because I think my mind was twisted by simply appearing on the People’s Daily, no matter to say the revision from the editors (even with the fact that they are minor). My other Chinese writings now are well blocked in my computer or my real journal.

The first Chinese winner of Nobel Prize for Literature Gao Xingjian said, “writing is a kind of personal murmur”. Only the personal murmur is the true internal feeling of people. Do they expect to be heard? Sometime, otherwise, the writer would not publish his book. But I am sure he does not care how people think about his murmur, and he does not change the murmur because it will be heard.

To the people who are indexing my blog, are you too serious and too waste your time?