I got my NSERC

I was informed today that I got NSERC this year up to the coming 5 years. It is always like this that if you deserve this, it is not very excited, at least, not as shock as if you lose the competition. I found the result comes a little bit late for me, compared to my peers. They got it faster than me, and they got adjunct title faster than me too. Faster means with the same publication records, they are faster than me. Maybe they know better how to play the game, and they know how to write a proposal better than me. But most importantly, the committee just trusts them more than trusts me, or at least sooner than trusts me, just by the school they graduated, and by their non-Asian names. The first year, I blame myself, the second year, I blame my luck. The third year, I am really good now. I realized that all is a game. I play, but laugh at it.